Making Peace with the Past

"What Will It Take To Achieve World Peace?"

That was the question. My high school senior English teacher gave the class an essay assignment straight out of Newsweek magazine regarding the aforementioned question, jokingly commenting that if anyone in class won the contest he/she would receive an "A" for the year.

Writing always came easy for me, but it wasn't my life's dream. I wasn't a stellar poet and hadn't (yet) written the great American novel, but I got by. So I wrote the essay, throwing in my most idealistic and imaginative ideas, then continued with the rest of my days in a typical John Hughes-ish high school (this was the late '80s, people).

And lo and behold I won the contest. For real. Didn't believe it myself, it took some arm-pinching and cold-water on the face splashing for the realization to sink in. Me, the rebel without a cause, won a national essay contest. Needless to say, I got an "A" in English that year.

The prize was super cool: An all-expense paid trip to attend the Nobel Prize ceremony in Stockholm, Sweden. I even appeared on Pertzborn's People, for those of you from the StL who remember that show.

That was my 15 minutes of fame. And for the longest time, well, nearly 20 years now, it's been the albatross hanging round my neck. In that moment that I made a fantastic achievement, I lost my sense of self. Hence my last post regarding finding purpose in my life. There has been a huge hole in my heart and since high school I've been trying to fill it, but didn't know how.

This time I'm taking away from work, oddly, is helping me find myself again. Spending time with my beautiful daughter, making a home for my family, joining a Bible study. All of these things I'm doing to make an effort to achieve peace in my life--and to finally make peace with the past.